Apr 8, 2011

How to: Cheesy Potatoes

How to: Cheesy Potatoes

[Soundtrack: George Frideric Handel – “Messiah, Hallelujah Chorus”]

High school + Senior year + Football + Thursday night = Cheesy Potatoes.

If you know me, you know I like food. Cheesy potatoes are one of my favorites. I didn’t always like potatoes. When I was little, I had a Match Box car that was a big ass shark on wheels. One day, I shoved the shark car through a potato, and afterwards it smelled like asshole. I never really liked potatoes after that. But I warmed up to them when I had me some Cheesy Potatoes. Every Thursday night during my senior year of high school, the seniors on the football team gathered together at someone’s house and we shared a delicious meal that all of our parents put together. Every Thursday one of the moms would show up with a pan of Cheesy Potatoes. Mrs. Sanderman was her name. Cheesy Potatoes was her game. Her Cheesy Potatoes were/are the purest substance known to mankind. I asked Mrs. Sanderman for the recipe one time and she actually ripped it out of her cookbook and gave it to me. The ingredients turned up missing until recently. My mom found the recipe the other day and subsequently concluded a personally conquest I had been on for almost a decade. And now I would like to take this opportunity to share it with the world. Enjoy.

How to: Cheesy Potatoes (AKA Cheddar Whips)

Recipe: Cheddar Whips

Makes: 8-10 servings [or 1 Cow serving]


-8 large potatoes (peeled and boiled)

-1 pack dry ranch dip

-½ cup Miracle Whip

-¾ cup melted Velveeta

-¼ cup milk

-8 oz. shredded cheddar cheese


1. Whip boiled potatoes with Miracle Whip.

2. Add cheese sauce (I put ¼ cup milk and cubed Velveeta in glass measuring cup and melt in Miracle Whip until creamy [yum])

3. Whip until smooth.

4. Add dry ranch dip and whip.

5. Place in buttered casserole dish and bake in oven at 320 degrees.

6. Top with shredded cheese for 5-10 minutes before serving and place in oven to melt cheese.

7. [Orgasm].