Mar 8, 2011

Lent 2011: What Are You Giving Up?

[To save a couple hours, I am re-posting last year's Lent piece while adding this year's immortal sacrifices.]

Before we get started, make sure you check out my post on the Real Reason Catholic's Don't Eat Meat on Friday During Lent.

Every year at this time, people of seemingly all religions (despite being a Catholic tradition) walk around proclaiming what they will be giving up for Lent. The New Year's resolutions are fading fast if not already long since forgotten and it's time to try out something new and exciting. I'm not going to give you the religion pitch, so don't get those butt-holes puckered up just quite yet...but c'mon people! If you're going to give up something, at least for 40 days, then really give it up.

There are many things people are giving up for Lent, such as junk food, pop, fast food, candy, coffee, sex, masturbation, Catholicism, hope, God, being lazy, smoking, drugs, Facebook, and swearing, just to name a few.

[just kidding]

Traditionally, I normally joke about giving up "hope" for Lent. While it may be partially true, this year I decided to go down a different route. I'm gonna give up the sauce for Lent. That's right, alcohol. Beer. Liquor. Wine. O'Douls. Everything. No exceptions. But wait a minute!? What about St. Patties Day? Nope. Weekends? No dice. Not even a few exceptions? No exceptions. Let the good times roll.

Now here is where it gets really interesting. This year (2011) I am also giving up pop. P-O-P. Pop. That means no beer. No pop. And definitely no Root Beer.

I am also giving up any attempt to figure out this new mouse I bought today. It has at least a million buttons on it. Sorry Meat Paws.

Now there are two schools of thought when it comes to giving something up. In general, I haven't eaten fast food in over a year. However, I don't really consider Sonic, Subway, Chipotle, or Arby's fast food. I did eat a salad at McDonald's one time, so that really doesn't count either. If you want to count this as fast food, that's cool. But those are my exceptions. The fact of the matter is I don't hit up Wendy's on the way home five nights a week or drop $20 on Taco Bell at 2am every Saturday night. So that is school of thought #1, you can give something up, but you can have exceptions. School of thought #2 is if you're going to give something up, really give it up. The point of the whole thing isn't really about how some dude named Jesus wondered around a desert for a month and a half Man vs Wild style, it's about coming up with a sacrifice, being mentally tough to not cheat on it, and to really give something up.