Jul 19, 2010

The Cowman Show: Episode 2

The Cowman Show: Episode 2 - "Birthday Dinner Shenanigans"

On tonight's episode of The Cowman Show, Kyle craves Red Lobster, physically walks into a Red Lobster to eat, and ends up eating bread sticks at Olive Garden an hour later, hating life.

I've been on a weird seafood kick lately. In a perfect scenario, I would eat a fresh seafood feast while sitting on a pier overlooking the oil-covered ocean. Since I live in the middle of nowhere, I have to settle for seafood chains or the steamed flounder served up at the nearest China Buffet.

My dad's birthday was a couple days ago and a decision was made to go out to eat to celebrate 51 years of domination. The location was undecided, but I secretly hoped that the destination would end up at Red Lobster so I could eat some buttery garlic rolls and some sort of fish meal.

"If we don't get no tolls... then we don't eat no rolls."

Around noon on Saturday, my mom called me .

Mom: The birthday dinner would be taking place at approximately 4pm at Olive Garden and that the birthday boy would not be going because he felt like shit.

Me: Alright, seeya at 4.

About two hours later, dad called me.

Me: Are you going out to dinner? Mom said we were going to Olive Garden at 4...

Dad: See?! She can't even make up her mind about where she wants to go. She told me Red Lobster.

Me: thinking to myself... Ohhh hell yes!

I call my mom around 3:30pm.

Me: Hey, dad said we are going to Red Lobster.

Mom: Yeah is that okay?

Me: Yup. I've been craving Red Lobster for a long time now. I can't wait to eat some fish. I would really like to go to Red Lobster instead of Olive Garden. I will meet you at Red Lobster. We should get there around the same time you do at Red Lobster.

Mom: Okay see you there.

At 4:05pm I get a text message from my mom.

Mom: (text) We are here.

I pull into the parking lot at Red Lobster and we walk in. I tell the hostess that we are meeting people there and she says they have been really slow and that I could walk around and find them. I don't find them. I go outside to look for them. I call my mom.

Me: Hey I'm at Red Lobster. Where are you?

Mom: We are at Olive Garden.