Jun 1, 2010

Rant of the Week: BP Oil Spill

Rant of the Week: BP Oil Spill

I haven't been following this story too closely because I figured the problem would have been resolved a month ago. I guess it is time to rant about the dreaded BP oil spill...

Here's what I know:
  • An oil rig exploded
  • BP's deep-sea oil well is pumping hundreds of millions of gallons of oil into the ocean
  • Sea creatures are dying
  • The closest BP to my house has been shut down for a few weeks
  • Obama blames Bush for the problem
  • "They" still haven't fixed it
  • I had an old roomy from college that I called BP, which stood for Big Porno
  • Korn has a new album coming out in July. One of the songs on this album is called Oildale (Leave Me Alone). The word "Oildale" has "oil" in it, which seems to be the topic at hand. I watched the official music video for "Oildale" this morning at about 5am after suffering from the Don Phenomenon (which is a separate post in itself) and eating pizza. I'm really stoked for the album and find it more interesting than BP, yet I will continue to rant...but before I do, if you check out the video below, there is some crazy head bangin' going on starting at 3:38.

According to CNN, there have been several attempts to stop the oil from spewing out into the Gulf of Mexico. They have tried using robots to shut the well down, drilling a backup well, capping off the leak, putting a "top hat" like device on the hole to plug it up, shipping the leaking oil ashore, injecting the leak with mud to clot it up, clogging the leak with tires, golf balls, and other debris (wow?!? really?!?!), and more robots. Okay. So. Ummm. REALLY? I hate to use the "Well shit! We can put a man on the moon but we can't..." cliche, but I just said it. Come on BP.

Don't get too dirty there, Chief.

If this thing persists into July, I am going to go down there myself and plug the damned thing up with several thousand hot dogs, per my theory of solving world hunger that I went into extreme detail and analysis here. Get the Nobel Peace Prize ready. Scratch that. All I want is a lifetime supply of Chipotle, Subway, and Sonic.