May 9, 2010

How To: Make Amazing Asparagus

How To of the Week: Make Amazing Asparagus

I cuss. You cuss. We all cuss for asparagus. In honor of Mother's Day, here is a quick 'n easy recipe for some tasty asparagus that my mom gave me. First, I have a funny story about asparagus (and I bet you have never heard that sentence before). My mom was driving through Michigan years ago for a business trip and pulled over to the side of the road to pick some asparagus, where it was growing wild. She filled up a couple paper bags full of the stuff and kept on driving in her super deluxe blue Astro van. Later on, she was pulled over by a cop and they searched her van because they thought she was smuggling marijuana. Poor mom. So that's the story. Anyways, I'm not about to turn this blog into a Martha Stewart type of shit show, but the recipe is fresh in my head, my belly is full of asparagus, and I'm not in the mood for a "How To: Choke a Guy Out in Ten Seconds" kind of blog, although now that I think about it, that will be next week's topic.

Here's what you will need:

  • A stove
  • Vegetable oil
  • Cookie sheet
  • Asparagus
  • Parmasean cheese

  1. First, set the oven to 400 degrees.
  2. Coat the bottom of the cookie sheet with vegetable oil.
  3. Put the asparagus on the cookie sheet.
  4. When the stove is ready, throw the cookie sheet in the oven. Literally, throw it in there.
  5. Give it about 20 minutes, then stir the little asparagus spears around.
  6. Wait another 20 minutes.
  7. Kill time by saying "amazing asparagus amazing asparagus amazing asparagus."
  8. After 20 minutes, pull the cookie sheet out and sprinkle the asparagus with the cheese.
  9. Toss it back in the oven until the cheese melts.
  10. Pull it out and enjoy.