Apr 13, 2010

Weekend of Destiny: Recap

Allllllllright! So I finally have a chance to sit down for a second to go over the events that transpired this weekend. I was hoping to do this immediately after the race on Saturday and then again on Sunday, but yeah...that didn't really work out so well. For those of you not caught up with my thought process on running two marathons in a weekend, here is a quick summary to get you caught up to speed. First, I set a goal for myself in 2010 to become a member of the Marathon Maniacs club, which is a group of crazy runners. In January, I set out to achieve this goal by doing the Goofy Challenge down in Disney World earlier this year in January. The Goofy Challenge was a Half Marathon on Saturday and a full Marathon the next day. I thought this would get me into the Marathon Maniacs, but I was wrong. I scrambled around to run another marathon the following weekend in January, but that didn't work out. After reviewing the criteria, I decided to run two marathons in two days, and the best opportunity to do this was this past weekend.

The night before a marathon or leaving to go on a trip to run a marathon is what I describe as the "Christmas Eve Jitters." Just like the night before Santa comes to town and I am up all night in anticipation for presents, the same can be applied to the day before a race. I am more anxious than nervous or scared and the excitement that comes from this causes me to not sleep. On Thursday night, by the time 5am rolled around I decided to go to my parents and pass out in fear that I would sleep in. So I packed up the car, got to their place, and face planted on the couch.

When I woke up, dad and PorkRice were packing up the rest of their stuff and getting ready to head out. I also woke up to one of their dogs, Sammy, in my face. To put it gently, he was rather "excited" to see me. I snapped a picture to prove it, and this would turn into a laughable inside joke for the rest of the weekend knows as Sammy's "Dick of the Day" picture. Yes, we are quite the odd family. I managed to eat a couple hard boiled eggs before we set out to Michigan. This would lead to the next ongoing theme for the day, which was funny for me, no-so-funny for dad and PR. Hard boiled eggs+me=Norwegian Death Spiral. The three hour car ride was filled with remarks such as "Ohhh God Damnit!...Did you shit?...Quit it!...FUCK!" Eventually we arrived at our destination in Dearborn Heights, Michigan. This place is where Henry Ford grew up, so it's the birthplace of the automobile. I found it interesting that we left the place that invented flight and ended up in the place that invented cars. Any who, we got to the hotel which was the host hotel for the race.

It was really classy, but similar to my experience at Disney, had one major fault. Checkout time was noon. Standard procedure. The problem with this is that at noon we would still be running. Dad was able to get the time bumped back to 2pm, but still, that would leave us only 30 minutes to return from the race, pack, shower, and get the hell out of there. We decided to just prep the car and not even return after the race. Seriously, if a hotel is going to host a marathon, they need to accommodate for slow runners. And a 7am breakfast when the race starts at 7:30am is a little unrealistic as well. After we checked in, we hit up the race expo that was just down the street. The expo was filled up with balloon aliens and vendors selling crap.

We picked up the race packets, walked around a bit, and took off. For a Martian Marathon, I really didn't get a "alien" vibe aside from all the inflatable creatures. Meh. Leaving the expo,
it was food time. We opted for BD's Mongolian Grill.

Driving through the city, which was entirely under construction, we found it annoying to navigate because of the whole No Left Turn thing. We got to BDMG and ate a giant plate of meats. Afterwards, we went back to the hotel and settled in for the night. I lit up the room with more hard boiled egg gas and ate a bunch of junk.

When bed time rolled around, we watched a TV show about a preacher that killed his wife, slept with other married women in his church, and even convinced his mother-in-law to sleep with him. Disgusting. I really didn't sleep well, and before I knew it, my He-Man cartoon theme song alarm clock was going off, which meant the Weekend of Destiny was now in full swing.

We had to park a couple blocks away from the starting line. It was kind of cold outside and I wasn't in a huge hurry to stand outside any longer than necessary. When we made it to the staging area, we waited in line for the pissers. Someone who used the Port-O-John before me dropped off a huge Havana Omelet in the bottom of the dumpster hole. Yum. I finished up my business and then stood around for a little bit before it started. I had some time to kill so I snapped a few pics.

I still didn't have a feeling of "holy moly I am surrounded by aliens in this kick ass Martian Marathon!" No space ships in site, or even people dressed up as aliens. Meh x2. The race started and I did my thing. I took it easy because I knew I would have to do it all again the next day. For the most part, I felt fine physically. The course was a little rough because of all the road construction and rocks everywhere on the side of the roads. I ended up getting a couple in my shoe but kept running because I didn't think I could bend over and take my shoe off and continue running. Since I was running mostly on the side of the road, I came across tons of road kill. I saw a dead cardinal. I also saw a dead rat fetus. Dad and PorkRice saw it too, and PR said if he stepped on it and it's mung juice squirted on him that the race probably would have ended right then and there for him. I saw one pothole in the road that would instantly blow up a car if it hit it. Right around that pothole was a small pebble that I stared at, and then stepped on for some reason, and this caused me to roll my ankle. Thankfully it didn't do any damage, but it's always scary when the ankle rolls. The water stations were every two miles. This wasn't so bad during the first part of the race, but it sucked for the last few miles. The stations had water and Gatorade, but the Gatorade was diluted so much that it tasted like shit. I wore my Michigan shirt so I got plenty of "Go Blues" which I enjoyed. Around Mile 20 or so I caught up with PorkRice and we fast walked the rest of the way. When we got to the last stretch, he took of sprinting and beat two people that were ahead of us. I started cracking up and finished a few moments after him. By the time we got our shoe tags cut off, dad was crossing the finish line. I took a bad ass video of him crossing the finish line, but someone texted me during the video and I lost it somehow!

After the race, I wondered aimlessly and picked up The Dark Knight, then grabbed my two companions and drove back to Dayton. We got back in record time to my parent's place. I picked up Mr. Bo and retreated to my house and slipped into a mild coma. No pre-race restlessness.

I woke up at about 5:45am and called my dad to see how he was feeling. He suggested that I take a bath so my legs could loosen up. My vampire eyes were not adjusted to any light source so I had to unscrew 4/5 light bulbs in my bathroom prior to laying in the tub. I was curled up in the fetal position for about an hour. It was kind of dreadful. It did help though, so +1 to Greg Terry. He showed up at my place at 7am and we headed out to Xenia. Since I had a hellacious amount of sunburn on my face, I decided to wear the only had I had that fit my head for the race.

A bad sign for running a marathon is having difficulty getting out of the car before the race. Next was the chaffing feeling on the area where the buttcheek meets the leg. I thought I took care of that after the bath, but I guess not. I chucked a half bottle of baby powder down there and that seemed to do the trick. The first couple miles of the race race were easy going. My hat was a huge fan favorite. One guy told me, "You might need to move a little faster if you want that propeller to work." By the time Mile 9 rolled around, I started feeling the effects of so much running in so little time. There was a stretch from 9-13 that was horrendous. The sun was beating down on me and I had to strip down and I had to take off my long sleeve shirt and tie it around my waste. It took a couple minutes to do that simple task. Also while running, a couple times I thought about the thrill of crossing the finish line. For some reason, this causes me to get a little "emotional" I guess in a weird way that has happened in all of my previous races. I think it is a combination of running a marathon and having people there to cheer for you afterwards, but the side-effects cause me to hyperventalate for a few seconds. Not so good when my body is already passed shut down mode. The water stations were a million times better than the Martian Marathon. There were a variety of Gatorade flavors. It's nice to mix it up. One station had a giant bowl of M&Ms that I couldn't resist. I filled up a cup full of them and threw it down the hatch. I was spitting up thick chocolate goo until the next water station, but damn was it good. At some point I reached the events that I detailed in yesterday's blog.

When we crossed the finish line, they were all out of medals, so I settled for a couple glory pictures and a Mountain Dew.

When we got home, I pulled up the last email I had from the Marathon Maniacs guru that told me that I did not meet the criteria for my previous efforts. I shot him a new email, told him what I did, and about an hour later he welcomed me to the club. Bada-bing bada-bang. Even though I still feel like shit two days later, life is peachy.