Mar 9, 2010

I'm not sure how I missed this breaking news last week, but it looks like a panel of 41 scientists finally cracked the age old mystery as to what killed off the dinosaurs. According to Yahoo! News, It's official: An asteroid wiped out the dinosaurs. Well hrrmmmmm. It seems as though this gathering of scientists put their brilliant minds together and came up with the same conclusion that anyone could get if they popped their head into any 2nd grade classroom and asked the same question. What really gets me is that the scientists claim these findings to be official yet follow it up with a little CYA by stating,

"We now have great confidence that an asteroid was the cause of the KT extinction. This triggered large-scale fires, earthquakes measuring more than 10 on the Richter scale, and continental landslides, which created tsunamis." - Joanna Morgan of Imperial College London, a co-author of the review.

The last time I checked, official and [having] great confidence are two separate things.

The study explained that the Cretaceous-Tertiary extinction (KT extinction) was caused 65 million years ago when a huge asteroid hit Mexico.

The asteroid wasn't the only thing that killed the dinosaurs. It set off a chain reaction of global effects that wiped out half of the living things on earth. From 26 years of dino books, Jurassic Park, and countless shows on Discovery Channel, it went a little something like this:

Big rock falls out of sky and smashes into the earth.
The equivalent of a billion nuclear bombs go off in one spot.
At this point, many taints get punched in.
The blast wave causes earthquakes, tsunamis, and sends a dust cloud up in the air.
The dust cloud blocks out the sun and lots of plants die.
The house salad is ripped off the menu, vegan dinosaurs are screwed.
Consequently, T-Rex can't feast on the plant-eaters anymore, and T-Rex throws in the towel.

I'll take the Ghostbusters over a group of scientists any day of the week. I'm pretty sure they all just said "fuck it" anyway and played the clip from Ghostbusters, cashed in, and called it a day.

Dr. Peter Venkman: This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.
Mayor: What do you mean, "biblical"?
Dr. Ray Stantz: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath of God type stuff.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Exactly.
Dr. Ray Stantz: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!
Dr. Egon Spengler: Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes...
Winston Zeddemore: The dead rising from the grave!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!

Occasionally I find that an article or Youtube video isn't even the cream of the crop, the comments that follow is where the juicy stuff is at. Here are some responses to the article from Yahoo! News:

This guy doesn't even believe dinosaurs existed, but are rather a fabricated lie created by Hollywood:

What a crock of Sh##. It was so big it wiped out the dinosaur, but the monkey survived and stood upright to evolve into man. Where's this nine mile wide rock now? Dinosaurs are Hollywood folks. All the photos and models are footnoted: "artist renditions". I bet they make a movie out of this crap. What idiot put a mic in front of these jokesters. Why don't they put their studying to good use, like making a decent battery, or portable water desalination. Now that they think the dinosaur mystery that never was, is now solved, can we move on to important things? That waste of time and resources did nothing for us. Its just another tower of babel.

This guy is the usual smart ass:

Oh thank God! I finally know the truth. I don't think I could have lived life to it's fullest without knowing that little tidbit of information. In twenty years from now we will find out this information was false and a 40 day flood did all the damage.

This guy doesn't care, but still cared enough to comment about it:

who the hell cares? waste of money!!

Not sure what this guy was trying to argue:

Uhhhhhh huh dinosaurs

And finally, a giant block of text I didn't even read:

Perhaps the uneducated skeptics should actually read the evidence that was presented at the conference before passing such harsh judgements. The study of Geology reveals through layers of materials scientific evidence of events that happened over the last 2 billion years or so. This is not disputed. The layer of sediment that is known as the K-T boundry is a layer of sediment that is as vast as the surface of the entire globe and is of a density that "suggests it was deposited rapidly but over a relatively short period of time. The scientific discipline of Paleontology is the study of the fossil records that living things have left behind through these various layers. The two disciplines while related are varied in their focus. Fossil records indicate a drastic difference in life on earth before and after the K-T event. The coming together of minds on this subject to review all relavent evidence and actually come to a general consensus on the reason for the extinction of the most dominant class of life to ever inhabit the planet is significant to understanding the history of the earth and also to understanding potential threats to our own existance. While the Bruce Willis movie on the subject may have been a stretch, there are real planet killing asteroids in our solar neighborhood. Knowing that they can and do sometimes hit the earth could someday help us be ready .