Feb 1, 2010

Over the past few days, I have tuned into the Nostradamus-Effect marathon on the History Channel. I'm a sucker for any show on TV that talks about Armageddon and how the world will end. For all you Magic: The Gathering dorks out there...

I figured I might as well be informed for the Apocalypse since we survived the 2000 A.D. Wrath of God scare. According to the History Channel, there are two years we have to be concerned about. The first is coming up pretty quick - 2012. I think 12/12/12 is the first prediction for the end of days. This is when the Mayan calendar runs out and all the great prophecies have pinpointed to when the world would end. One of the Nostradamus-Effect episodes showed a timeline throughout history of all these natural disasters that have taken place, such as WWII, 9/11, and things like that. The timeline goes on and on and eventually runs out in 2012. If we survive that disaster, the next year to worry about is 2060. This was calculated by Sir Isaac Newton, Mr. Physics himself. I guess he flipped through the Bible and added up a few different dates and came up with 2060 A.D. but didn't tell anyone about it while he was alive because he would have been killed on the spot probably. I'm a little skeptical of all the Bible predictions for the simple reason that I can take the book and plug in a formula I make up and come out with the exact prediction I want. For example, I could say, "Turn to page 20. Now turn to page 60. Booya 2060. End of world. Seeya." I understand it's a little more complex than that, but that is my interpretation of it.

Now for some of my own prophecies that have come true recently to a certain degree.

Cow's Crystal Ball Magical Prophecy Example #1: The Tiger Woods-Effect

  • 12/1/09: I wrote a blog about the side effects of Ambien after watching a commercial about it. A few days later, Tiger Woods got his ass kicked by his wife and threw his image in the shitter. He was on Ambien at the time. I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'.

Cow's Crystal Ball Magical Prophecy Example #2: The Tim Tebow-Effect

  • 1/28/10: I wrote a blog about how much Tim Tebow sucks and how he shouldn't push his religious agenda down my throat. This past Saturday, Tim Tebow played in the 2010 Under Armour Senior Bowl, and quite frankly, sucked ass. He was 8-for-12 for 50 yards, fumbled twice, and ran four times for 4 yards. Again, not sayin', just sayin'.

And finally.

Cow's Crystal Ball Magical Prophecy Example #3: Michigan/Brandon Graham-Effect

  • 1/18/09: I've touched on Michigan Football quite a bit, but in mid-January I gave a little update on recruiting and took a couple shots at OSU. Combined with my Michigan B-Day cake blog, I had a premonition something was cooking in the Big House, and it was. Brandon Graham was the MVP of the Senior Bowl, and was in Tim Teblow's face the whole game. Suck it bitches.
Now - I'm not running around as the next self-proclaimed Nostradamus or anything like that. I have no clue when the world will end or anything like that. I'm also not going to shy away from a couple of recent coincidences that have plopped up after I wrote about them either though.