Oct 25, 2010

Rant of the Week: Candyland


Rant of the Week: Candyland

I'm gonna Quentin Tarantino this one...

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Where the fuck is Plumpy?!?!

When I was little, my favorite board game was Candyland. I was really good at this game because I would cheat when nobody else was looking and shuffle through the cards and put the "Plumpy" card on top of the deck when nobody was looking so it would send them to essentially the start of the game. This inevitably resulted in the nickname, "Plumpy" that I carry on to this day (even though my mom is the only person that calls me this, and its random).


Every time I go to a store and get sucked into the toy section by a tractor beam for some random reason, I immediately go to the board game section to scope out the status of the latest Candyland game. To my demise, Plumpy is missing from the front cover. Fucking AWAL. MIA.

Back in the day, I knew which card was the Plumpy card because it was folded in half at some point and had a crease going through the top right corner of the card. I could shuffle through the deck with my eyes closed and pick that card out in a matter of seconds while my opponent left the game to grab a quick piss break or to fetch me another popsickle.


Plumpy must be dead.

I've heard this song before, but I just watched the music video for it. Here is the parody version... equally entertaining for all the wrong reasons.


  • candyland
  • gummi bears
  • bikinis
  • snoop dog
  • candy canes
  • ginger bread men
  • cupcakes
  • rainbows
  • reddi whip shooting out of boobs

Plumpy must be dead.

This America bullshit mentality of little kids needing to eat more carrots and less of the stuff that the Cookie Monster and Plumpy eats needs to come to an end.

Where the fuck is Plumpy?!?!