Jul 6, 2010

Rant of the Week: Ice Cream Trucks



Rant of the Week: Ice Cream Trucks

When I sit down to write my rant of the week post, I take a few minutes to reflect back on the week that was and come to some sort of conclusion on what seemed to piss me off most. Usually there will be some sort of defying act that impacted me personally in a way that would warrant the time it takes to put my frustrations into words for my faithful readers to read. This week, there were two separate incidents involving ice cream trucks. If your ultimate goal in life is to become an ice cream truck driver, or you know or are related to someone that drives an ice cream truck, now would be the time you would want to stop reading.

Okay. So first off, I was driving down my street the other day. I was in a ridiculous hurry as usual, but this time it was because I was about to piss my pants. The urine chamber was filled up to max capacity and I had to pee so bad I could taste it. So I'm driving down my street and come to a 4-way stop at the exact time that an ice cream truck shows up. The truck peels out in front of me like a bat out of hell. I start driving. Then I realize that this ice cream truck is going no more than 5 MPH. Seriously. Music blaring. And I'm not talking about The Entertainer either, I don't know what song it is that this fucker blasts through my neighborhood but it's the worst thing ever. I'll leave it at that. So I tailgate the ice cream truck and hope that he pulls over to the side while watching to make sure I don't run over a little kid that's blindlessly running across the street to get their hands on a frosty treat. Neither happens. I made it home about 2 minutes later than I should have and was able to take the much needed piss, but this situation escalated a day that was already going down hill fast.

The second situation happened earlier today when I went on a 30 mile bike ride. I was riding into a park that had an entrance that was dark with twisty, curvy roads. Line of sight wasn't the greatest. As I am peddling up this hill, an ice cream truck comes barreling down the path and almost slams into me. They say that football is a game of inches, but I guess this would also apply to avoiding instant death from an ice cream truck as well.

Has anyone else had at least one bad experience with an ice cream truck, or dare I ask, two bad experiences in a 7-day period?

If any good would come of this whole hatred for ice cream trucks, it would be this picture I took of Cheeks getting some ice cream a couple a years ago. And yes, those are Sponge Bob Square Pants pajama pants.


Things not to name an ice cream truck...


"Buy one ice cream get a nightmare free" ice cream truck


Not even sure what to say about this one...