Jan 27, 2010

You've Got Boring Facebook Status Updates

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I have noticed a disturbing trend as of late that has to do with the pointless, repetitive, and uninteresting information people are updating on a consistent basis on his or her Facebook Status. Sadly, it reminds me of my old @aol.com email address that I used from 4th grade to my senior year in high school. When I rocked the AOL account, I was constantly spammed with every imaginable email possible on a daily basis. Hundreds-maybe even thousands of useless emails that were immediately deleted. Admist the spam, I might have had one or two "real" emails from someone I knew that had content I wanted to read. But the rest of the inbox was filled with crap.

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I'm seeing the same trend occur with these damned Facebook status updates that suck. I have to filter through pages of bullshit to find some status update that confirms that I didn't waste my time reading it.



To fix the AOL problem, I stopped using AOL as my primary ISP and email address. The FB problem is a little trickier. I'm not deleting my account...yet. I've already resorted to hiding people's updates and evening purging the friends list...both of which are still viable options. I've already threatened farmville obsessed people with a facebook status update.

I'm going to dwell on the topic a little more while beginning a spreadsheet of examples of good and retarded status updates. Then I will probably put these in different categories and report my findings and verdit in another fun-filled flame-on bloggy blog blog blog.

The Boring Facebook Status Updates verdict is in. And now... drum roll please...

The GOOD: These are examples of things that are not Boring Facebook Status Updates

Reasons I won't donate money to Haiti: 1. We have enough problems of our own 2. Obama donated $100 million, so they already got my donation without my consent 3. New Orleans. Liberals bitched a storm about this one, why don't they fix that first 4. The biggest thing Haiti sends us is cocaine. Why fuel this more? 5. Two-faced people. Let's complain about the cost of war to protect us, then unload our wallets on this


beer and bacon for dinner... how barbaric. lol

Go Cocks!

"Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know whether you fully understand that I have just been shot; but it takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose." -Teddy Roosevelt after being shot and continued to give a 90 minute speech.

I have to agree with Kyle Terry...It would be so nice to be able to use the facebook "hide" feature in real life.

Sheamus = The whitest man I've ever seen in my life...

but atleast farve can take a hit...manning wets himself and just falls down when he could get hit

Parking Wars....celebrating Phillys finest one ghetto parking ticket at a time.

I feel like Sammy Sosa...I just sneezed and pulled a back muscle. No, I am not kidding. It effin hurts.

Snot for breakfast is good. My sinuses are draining so much that I am not even hungry for lunch.

The Apocalypse is upon us. My belt just broke. It's a sign. I have officially became too fat.

Its amazing how a sip of baby tylenol and beer will knock a child out. Peace and quiet

Note to self: Never ever ever eat another Fiber One bar. I spent the entire day farting. The WPAFB saw enough gas from me to fuel a B52.

The BAD: These are examples of things that are definitely Boring Facebook Status Updates

TGIF

… I hate mondays

Cleaning...

Waiting on an angel -- One to carry me home -- Hope you come to see me soon -- Cause I don't wanna go alone -- I don't wanna go alone.

THE OWNER OF FACEBOOK HAS CONFIRMED THAT THEY WILL SEND $1 DOLLAR TO THE RESCUE FUND FOR THE HAITI EARTHQUAKE DISASTER FOR EVERY TIME THIS IS CUT AND PASTED AS A STATUS. YOU ONLY HAVE TO LEAVE IT UP FOR 1 HOUR. LET'S ALL DO IT TO SUPPORT THANKS

im ready for a vacation

shower

[beach / Hawaii / cruise] in 3 days!!

work work work

O-H!

[anything relating to pregnancy]

i love [person] so much <3>

[I LIKE TO TAKE IN CAPS FOR NO REASON AND FILL UP YOUR WHOLE NEWS FEED WITH RANDOM CRAP THAT YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT OMFG PLEASE JUST REMOVE ME FROM YOUR FRIENDS LIST SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET PISSED OFF EVERYTIME I UPDATE MY STATUS IN ALL CAPS WHICH IS A LEAST 20 TIMES A DAY!!!]


And The UGLY: PorkRice and others have more to share…

Whiney Alabama Fan wrote this, then all of the comments below:

don't you love how people put so much personal information on the internet? "i'm in love, i'm sick, i'm walking to the fridge, i feel depressed like i ruined my life" no you ruined my life by having this on my news feed...useless

has 3 mayorships on foursquare!

is it bad that like almost 12 hours after the lose I'm still devestated?

every hater needs to shut their mouth. this will only make us stronger. Steve spurrier is a shitty coach who only cares about playing golf at agusta. We needed to humble ourselves...they did not beat us we beat ourselves

maybe this will make us get our shit together

i like it on a roof

dear john brantley, we told you they hit hard. love tim tebow and colt mccoy. ps-try not to cry

Drunk High School Classmate

ain't got a job and ain't got shit shit to do, guess i'll watch Friday

seriously speedway, i run out your stock of pbr single handly and you restock with only 2 30 packs

once again i single-handedly depleted all the PBR in the area. They should really sponsor me.

so last thing i remember from last night is chugging the last of my beer while yelling at my computer for having windows installed in French...I wake up passed out on the floor and somehow the computer is running perfectly in English...am i a drunk technician?

ladies and gentlemen, we have begun triple stacking

purple onion, hells yea


Girl Who wants everyone to know everything she did today (1 Week of Status Updates)

i will be checking online for my test grade practically every 10 mins! so nervous! thinking ill be by myself
the rest of the day and not sure what all i will get done!

Just made a pot of coffee... mmm. Definately in need of a nap after class!

studying... never ending. studying with mariah when shes off work till who know how late and getting bfast before class in the am!

Well my interview also turned into the mach dispatch and another background check and finger prints! I'm so ready for an answer =/

Not feeling the greatest :( class 10-1115 then another interview/simulated dispatch at noon! So nervous and this has been such a long process I'm ready to know the answer!

Had lunch and relaxed with my boyfriend ♥ now time to get some shopping done then study the rest of the night!

Tonight was the best I've had in awhile ♥ its so beautiful outside to top it off ♥ convos at the picnic table at 11pm are amazing!

84 on my a&p lab exam ;) and a wonderful night with the borgerdings!

Stulls till 3 then home for the night and hopefully sam will come over and maybe dinner? Sounds good to me!

Passed my medics lab got to play firefighter with little kids at the elementary and get to have a girls night with the borgerding family! Good day ;)

Slept amazing with new sheets on my bed ;) now waiting to take my first medics lab exam!

Can't wait to be with my wonderful boyfriend ♥ and he gets to help me study ;)

Dear 8am weightlifting class, I believe you are about to get dropped. You are rediculous and I have more important things to worry about and need more rest! Grrr. A&P lab exam 1 today... start praying!

Mani & pedi with my sis ♥ then back to studying :( boo.

I PASSED MY POLYGRAPH TEST LAST WEEK AND GOT ANOTHER INTERVIEW/TEST FOR NEXT WEEK FOR MONT CO DISPATCHER! yayyyyyy! im shaking im so nervous and excited!

Missed my weightlifting class again! This being sick stuff HAS to go away! Err well a&p at 10 then study group after class with a group of girls. Pleaseeeee let me feel better soon :'(
am is coming to watch a movie with me! yay ;) now after homework the last FOUR hours i will relax some ♥

dinner for me was buffalo chicken dip... mhmmm! so sleepy still have a headache and just want to watch a movie!

gave in and turned my heat on :(

I have the best boyfriend what would I do wothout him?! One of the worst migraines I've ever had last night :( now headed to medics lab!

Wish I was feeling better but so thankful for my boyfriend! ♥ first medics lab in the morning then pry back to resting and studying!

Soo sick! Not at stulls today not much sleep happened last night :( want my bf ♥ but can't wait to have the girls over for a fun relaxing evening!

And people just keep on sucking...

Just chillin.

I am getting hungry

That was the most refreshing shower I have ever taken.

Go Bucks, Go Reds, Go Browns, Go Dayton Dragons, Go Cleveland Cavaliers, Go Kentucky Wildcats, Go every team I like... Go all day and Go all night. Win Win Win.
P.S.
Muck Fichigan.

Slowly becoming addicted to True Blood.

One more day until a nice 5 day weekend.

Hi everybody!!

Making breakfast-then to the grocery-then home to make baby food and clean this house! Woohoo...exciting day in store for me!