Nov 28, 2009

Thanksgiving on a Friday



I successfully accomplished the following things yesterday:

· Went to a buffalo farm.

· Saw a buffalo.

· Saw a chicken.

· Saw a goat.

· Went to a turkey farm.

· Mashed some potatoes.

· Found a dictionary that had the words "cocksucker" and "motherfucker" in it.

· Ate a bunch of good food.

· Had the following conversation with my mom:

o Me - "Did you just say donkey?"

o Mom - "Yeah."

o Me - "More like a donkey punch."

o Mom - Laughs.

o Me - "Now...if I could donkey punch a buffalo, I could cross two things off my list of things to do today."

· Told my grandma about a stripper pole I used to have in my house.

· Had the following conversation with my grandpa:

o Grandpa - "Did Michigan beat Ohio State? Hahaha."

o Me - "You know, I knew your birthday was last Saturday, which was also the day of The Game, and I was going to call you and wish you a happy birthday, but I didn't. I kind of felt bad about it, but now I don't anymore."

o Everyone - Laughter.

· Saw that my grandpa has his jacket on inside out, in which my grandmother got in her car and said, "Never a dull moment."

· Verified that both of my grandparents have driver's licenses.

· Watched football and slipped in and out of consciousness several times.

· Drank out least 10 Diet Cokes.

· Told my mom to [censored] her dog's [censored] so that his tummy ache would go away or else she should take him to the vet and have them [censored] his [censored].

· Managed to get to a gas station to fill up my car that was 5 miles away even though my car said I had 3 miles worth of gas left.

· Saw an Indian working at a gas station that smelled funny and had a thick, full-blown uni-brow.

· Watched Bo squeeze out a turn in my backyard.

· Took a shower.

· Put up my Christmas tree in approximately 10 seconds.

· Possibly convinced someone that by giving $5 to a stranger that she may have unknowingly invited a serial killer into her apartment.

· Hung out with some friends and shared tales of buffalo, Bigfoot, stripper poles, aliens, demons, Mel Brooks, Mel Gibson, candy canes, banjo strings, dancing (or lack of), serial killers, urban legends, Dayton's last mayor (which was a man, and black by the way), nice smelling corn syrup production factories, bad smelling paper producing factories, a diary that some lady name Bridget Jones writes in, and more buffalo.

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All in all, a pretty good day.